We are all grown up… and it isn’t all it was cracked up to be!
Here are our 10 things that completely suck about being an adult…
1. Listening To Children
Were we really that annoying? Squealy? Needy? Cheeky? We’d have definitely got the wooden spoon.
2. Goodbye Breakfast… Hello Alarm Clock
No more Mother mid-morning wake up calls, “get up pet, I’ve your Rice Crispies on the table.” They’ve been replaced by that horrible sound of an alarm at ridiculous o’clock. Snooze. Always leaving it too late for breakfast… We miss Snap, Crackle and Pop!
3. Bill.i.am
Bills. Bills. Bills. Sadly we are not referring to the Destiny’s Child classic but to those horrible items inside those envelopes that postman insists on leaving every few weeks. Postman Pat seemed so nice…
4. No More Acting The Young One
If a farmer spots you, a grown woman, running around on his bales of hay acting the young one, he will most definitely question your mental stability.
Building a fort from bedsheets and dining room chairs is considered juvenile.
Going camping… in your back garden is frowned upon.
If you’re spotted in a pair of roller blades holding on to a rope that is tied to your friend’s bike in front, people will begin to ask questions.
5. Responsibility Has A Whole New Meaning
At school you always wanted some form of ‘responsibility’, because it meant getting out of class. Nowadays it’s that horrible R that unlike our restricted driver plates, we just can’t get rid of.
6. Forking Out The Hard Earned Dough On Expensive Presents
Gone are the good ol’ days of your parents giving you a few pound to buy the best friend a BFF charm bracelet or necklace for her birthday or just as a token of your love and appreciation for her friendship. No, they just don’t cut it anymore. She’s getting married now. You need a dress and a hat and a guest and a present… FML.
7. The Ice Cream Man Thinks You’re A Fat B*tch
It will always and forever be our favourite jingle, the sound an ice cream van makes as it’s passing by… you run in to your house, grab some money, run back out, pushing past all the kids just so you’re at top of the queue. Elbows being thrown about the place left right and centre. You get there but you’re no longer parallel height to the counter, you can easily rest your arms on it… the ice cream man looks at you in disgust because you’re not a child.
8. Boys Are STILL Boys
They were never keen on hide and seek when they were younger, probably because we were always much better and smarter at playing the game. Now however, they’re the two things they only ever want to play… the game and hide and seek (with their willies).
9. No More Snow Days
Simply devastating… we’re still not over it.
10. Our Friend TOM Drops By For A Visit… The Bloody B*stard
It is hands down thee WORST thing about being an adult… that time of the month (TOM). Some of us are moody, we get spots, can’t sleep because of cramps, can’t have sex but really want it, and some of us find buying tampons or pads a mortifying experience, even worse than taking a pair of spanks to the check out in Dunnes when a really good looking fella is working.
But that’s life… so suck it up! *Reaches for a bar of chocolate for comfort.
