One in five Irish couples are experiencing violence at the hands of their children but are too embarrassed and guilty to seek help.
The figure was heard at a conference focused on the emerging problem of child parental abuse.
According to The Irish Examiner, Barbara McAllister of Bray Women’s Refuge said that the service has noticed an increase in the number of mothers who were afraid to go home because an abusive child.
“We’ve had cases where the child was as young as eight or nine up to adult children. The kind of behaviour we’re talking about is threats, breaking up the furniture, stealing from parents, screaming at them, physically attacking them, killing the cat — a whole range.
“It’s a hidden abuse, because parents are reluctant to talk about it. They feel they are failures as parents and they feel guilt and shame. They don’t want to report it to the police, because they don’t want their children to have a criminal record and they don’t feel they can approach a social worker, because it’s not the child who’s being abused,” said Ms McAllister.
Parentline, a charity that supports parents under stress, revealed that it has recorded a 22 per cent increase in the number of parents seeking help after witnessing aggression and anger in their child.
Declan Coogan, from NUIG is researching the subject.
“Where child to parent violence is recorded, it tends to be categorised as family conflict, which covers a myriad of different situations. It’s a bit like where domestic violence was 20 years ago. It was happening, but nobody was talking about it.”
Parentline can be reached at lo-call 1890 927277, Monday to Thursday, 10am to 9.30pm; Friday, 10am to 4.30pm; www.parentline.ie
The expert warned parents to seek help from a social worker or the gardaí if they feel their safety is at risk.
