The average first-time mum finds the first year of her baby’s life ‘chaotic’, ‘tiring’ and ‘stressful’ – as a detailed study into the trials and tribulations of becoming a parent showed the extent to which mums find the initial 12 months emotionally and physically draining.
A large percentage even admitted the more negative aspects of parenthood – such as sleepless nights, the feeling of being lost, lonely and bewilderment – outweighed the positive.
Over half of new mums even admitted they genuinely felt they had ‘lost their identity’ during their baby’s first year.
The report also found it is only when baby reaches the age of 11 months that the happier elements of motherhood come to the fore.
At this point, new mums finally start to get to grips with the task at hand and gain more confidence.
Leading GP Dr Pixie McKenna, spokeswoman for Nurofen for Children, which conducted the study of 2,000 mums, said:
”It is easy to underestimate the impact having a baby has on a woman’s life.
”Before embarking on parenthood, many women are settled in a job, know what they are doing on a day-to-day basis, and are confident in the role they have carved out for themselves.
”They have independence, aren’t responsible for anyone but themselves, and their abilities and decisions aren’t questioned constantly.
”The minute a baby comes along, a woman’s world is turned upside down – with that initial rush of love and joy comes the unknown, and it is this which can throw women completely off balance.”
The study also found more than half of new mums suffer a major knock in confidence in the first year because they suddenly realise they have no idea what they’re doing.
It also emerged many mums would be far happier to have a manual, more help, or instructions on how to cope with certain aspects of motherhood.
Half of those polled wished someone explained why babies cry, and 43% said they would have liked help on how to deal with sleepless nights.
Others said they would have liked to have been told when it was appropriate to contact a doctor, and when to administer medicines.
The research also found one in three mothers feel confused about treating their child’s illness.
Mothers also struggle to recognise the difference between illness and general grumpiness in the first year.
The study also found mum is the first person women rely on for help in the middle of the night, with around four in ten admitting they would call their mum for tips on treating a sick child.
Two-thirds of those polled found it difficult to cope with the sleep deprivation.
Four in ten women had no idea how to get their baby to sleep in a regular pattern, while 35% felt they were making it up when it came to feeding the child.
Getting the baby settled into a routine, juggling the cleaning and cooking with childcare, and coping with the sheer responsibility are all aspects women would have liked training on.
One in four mums didn’t have a clue when their baby was supposed to be reaching different milestones with regards to their learning and development.
When asked what they missed most about their lives pre-motherhood, 55% said social life, 35% said work, and 51% wished they could have their old body back.
Dr McKenna added:
”When it comes to health advice, only a quarter of mothers feel comfortable sharing advice with other mothers on knowing when to query things with a doctor, and even less feel comfortable advising how to recognise when a baby was ill, or when it’s appropriate to administer medicines.
”I don’t think I ever fully appreciated what it was like to have a sick child, until my own children fell ill.
”My advice would be not to go it alone, share your anxieties no matter how foolish they may seem and don’t be scared to ask for advice.
”Consulting a healthcare professional who can help guide you through your child’s illness will help to ease their pain and your concerns.”
The research also found 89% of women’s lives completely change after having a baby, with their relationships at home and work life taking the biggest hit.
Even relationships with friends and family can be affected by the introduction of a new-born, while just under half of those polled gave up their hobbies and interests.
And while mums said they did start to really enjoy motherhood from about six months in, 65% admit they find the first year incredibly stressful – 52% genuinely felt as though they’d lost their identity.
TOP 10 THINGS MUMS WISHED THEY’D KNOWN
1. Why the baby cries
2. How to cope with sleepless nights
3. The sheer responsibility of being a parent
4. Whether to let them ‘cry themselves out’
5. How to get baby settled into a routine
6. How to recognise when baby is ill and not just grumpy
7. How to juggle the house-cleaning with looking after baby
8. Whether you should be querying things with a doctor/health visitor
9. Knowing that mums in the same position may only be appearing to cope
10. How to cook a meal while looking after baby
