19 thoughts I had while watching Beyoncé’s Netflix documentary, Homecoming

"I understand, but I don't understand."

Hey guys, it's the weekend and you know what that means. No, not that you now get to go outside and drink cans for eight hours. No, not that you can finally emerge from the hovel that you call your bedroom and do some socialising with actual real people. It means that you finally have time to watch the epic two plus hour Beyoncé documentary that was just added to Netflix this week. You're welcome. Homecoming dropped onto the streaming site (alongside a 40 track live album that accompanied it) to much critical acclaim, viewer praise, and fan excitement. Sure, it's technically just a live show, but it's also an expression of black culture, an event that was months in the making, and a rare insight into a vulnerable, self-conscious Beyoncé who pushed herself harder than she ever had done before to finally have her homecoming. It's excellent and you should watch it. I did last night - and here are 19 things I thought while doing so. 1. Is there some continuity error bullshit going on here with the costumes? 2. Oh, wait, it was shot over two separate nights 3. I understand, but I don't understand 4. OK, we're 45 minutes in, I get it now. Carry on 5. I want to be in an orchestra 6. Blue Ivy is adorable and will be a big star one day, you heard it here first 7. I could listen to Beyoncé read the phonebook and not get bored 8. The human body is amazing 9. OK but what did she eat to prepare for this performance if she couldn't have meat, dairy, sugar, bread, or any kind of carb?! 10. Surprise twins must have sucked 11. I am aroused 12. Jay-Z looks alright in that get up, in fairness to him 13. But he could absolutely be more excited that his wife fits back into her old costume 14. Men 15. Your man with the arms is some lad 16. Still thinking about the 'boing' intro to Formation even though it happened 1.5 hours ago, tbh 17. Fuck, it's Destiny's Child 18. Fuck, it's Solange 19. Fuck, it's over Shame.