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02nd Jul 2019

A comprehensive list of things we’d rather listen to over the Love Island contestants kissing

Jade Hayden

Make sure you like and subscribe to our new Love Island Show, coming to you every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. 

Episode 13 is out now! 

https://open.spotify.com/episode/4YbMGiZj6FQ8DA31Uk0DR7?si=IPVLw2duRneMzY_Kyw_7Rg

“Can I pull ya for a chat?… And the loudest shifting known to man.”

Look lads, we know.

The kissing on Love Island is intense.

It’s raw, it’s wet, it’s about 10 times louder than any of the conversations any of them are having with each other.

When the shifting starts, the mic levels rise, and the production team sit back and laugh at the sheer amount of discomfort they are directly causing the general public.

It’s a lot. It may even be too much.

And so, without further ado, here is a comprehensive list of things (12) that we’d rather listen to over the Love Island contestants kissing.

Please enjoy.

1. Some young one talking about her night out on a packed Luas

2. A balloon the instant it pops

3. Newly acryliced nails on a chalkboard

4. The internet dialup sound for 10 hours

5. Your phone alarm at a rogue time during the middle of the day

6. Someone sculling the end of a Pot Noodle like it’s a beverage

7. Foxes having loud obnoxious sex outside your bedroom window

8. The word ‘moist’ being spoken

9. Yoghurt being eaten by your granny

10. Your parents the night they conceived you

11. Amy talking about the connection she and Curtis supposedly have

12. The song ‘Rockstar’ by Nickelback

 

Topics:

Love Island