Day 9.
Yes, you’ve guessed correctly. There was indeed another episode of Love Island on last night, which did in fact contain some dramatic occurrences.
But did you actively consume every nanosecond of it? Did you see it all? Or were you texting throughout, interspersed with looking at #LoveIsland on Twitter, finding the dankest memes to share in your designated Love Island WhatsApp group? Tell the truth. I knew it. You’re a joke
Truly though, it does not matter. We’re all going to die anyway.
Here’s seven key moments you might’ve missed on last night’s Love Island.
1. Megan drank mouthwash straight from the bottle LIKE AN ANIMAL
Humans are funny old creatures. We all have our own unique and often incredibly wrong ways of doing things. For example, some people put the milk in before the tea and others feel that Freddos are the correct price. That’s the beauty of life, we’re always going to meet people that are wrong and unfortunately, we just have to tolerate it. Megan, in the instance pictured above, is unintentionally revealing quite a lot about herself. She’s taking a swig of mouthwash straight from the bottle, as opposed to using the lid provided. This is disgusting for two reasons. 1) She is one hundred percent adding backwash to the remnants and 2) She is blatantly ignoring the manufacturer’s instructions on the side of the bottle. But why? Is it because she felt gross after kissing Eyal and needed to cleanse her body of him immediately? I’m inclined to think so. On an unrelated note: Alex wouldn’t allow her to drink mouthwash straight from the bottle. He’s got too much respect for manufacturers’ instructions.
2. We got to see what Alex would look like as an EMO, which was a lot to take in
Throughout the course of a haircutting process, everyone looks like an EMO for approximately 15 minutes. This is due to the sectioning off and combing techniques employed by hairdressers as they navigate their way across our precious little scalps. If you were to try to figure out what the exact opposite of an EMO is, Alex from Love Island is precisely that. His hair is fair, he’s got a bit of a tan, he’s in tune with his emotions and has most definitely never been to a My Chemical Romance concert, nor is he in possession of a Slipknot hoodie. But luck was on our side last night as we caught a glimpse of an alternate universe, one where Doctor Alex is an EMO and honestly, I didn’t hate it. Alex should consider giving the EMO lifestyle a whirl when he gets out of the villa. It kind of suits him and nothing in this world would be funnier than an EMO doctor.
3. Samira revealed the eagerly anticipated sequel to BoyhoodÂ
Girlhood. Do you get it? That’s it. That’s the joke. Thank you.
4. It transpired that the gag reflexes in the villa are, on the whole, very poor
Last night’s task was disgusting. Truly and utterly vomit-inducing. The couples had to transport food along a production line using just their mouths. The guys would take a mouthful of food, hold it in their gobs as they made it from one end of the course to the other, then pass it into the girls’ mouths, who then deposited the food onto a plate. It was legitimately quite difficult to watch, made even worse by the contestants’ persistent dry retching. Thankfully, the task wasn’t without benefit. As viewers, we came away knowing that Wes and Laura are incredibly competitive, but also that the entire Love Island cast this year have shocking gag reflexes. Every day legitimately is a school day.
5. The new Lady and the Tramp reboot looks shite
Do you get it? Wes and Laura were transporting spaghetti using just their mouths and it looked a bit like Lady and the Tramp. That’s it. That’s the joke. Thank you.
6. Eyal took very little convincing to sniff Adam’s beads, proving that he is undoubtedly a moron
Unexpected heroes of the night, Adam and Charlie did Alex a solid by distracting Eyal for a few minutes so that he could talk to Megan. It was truly a cinch for the pair, as all it took was some vague queries about stars to get The Deepest Man In The Villa going off on one. Not content with the level of conversation, Adam then invited Eyal to sniff his beads (surprisingly not a euphemism) because he couldn’t quite tell if his nose was blocked or not. Undoubtedly, this was a clever ruse to make Eyal look like a dickhead and as intended, it did indeed make Eyal look like a dickhead. Adam redeemed himself slightly last night, it must be acknowledged. He is still both scum and a snake, but slightly less of a scum and snake after that remarkable act of bro code solidarity.
7. A! GIRL! TOUCHED! ALEX! ON! THE! LEG!
It’s not much, but it’s definitely something. We’re getting somewhere. This is progress. Alex pulled Megan aside for a chat while Adam and Charlie had the embarrassingly easy task of distracting Eyal. Alex put himself on the line, letting Megan know that he was still interested, despite seeing her necking Eyal multiple times from an uncomfortably close vantage point. Megan didn’t outright say that she doesn’t fancy Alex, so this is very exciting news for all of us here at Camp Alex. She even touched his knee in an awkward manner, presumably as a means of showing affection, or to check for his reflexes in a cute role reversal doctor/patient comedy bit. Who cares about her motive. Alex finally got some (Disney rated) action!!!
Images via ITV
