Who designs houses in the Gaeltacht? Dermot Bannon-Tí.
Room To Improve is probably the best thing on telly at the moment. It combines two of most Irish people’s favourite things: Nosing through strangers’ houses and watching couples argue.
Here’s 21 things you’ll hear during every episode.
1. “Now we haven’t a huge budget, so don’t go wild”
2. “Just in terms of making a balls of our house, DON’T”
3. “We live a simple life and we want our house to reflect that…. with 12 chandeliers on the landing”
4. “You have to be cruel to be kind. We’ll go for the conservatory so!”
5. “Haha no, don’t listen to my husband. He is a gobshite”
6. “As the crow flies, you’re making a mess and we are disgusted with you”
7. “We don’t want to argue with you Dermot, that’s not going to get this house built”
8. “We know Rome wasn’t built in a day, but we need this house fully refurbished by midday”
9. “We’re just not sure why you’d want to put a fireplace in the middle of the bathroom”
10. “Well now we’re going to be the ones living in the house, so you’d want to be listening to our demands”
11. “Could that quantity surveyor stop ruining our lives please?”
12. “You’ve gone over budget by €12,000 Dermot. WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK?”
13. “We want to keep the view, but we don’t want any windows letting draughts in. Is that something you could incorporate into the build?”
14. “We don’t want a utility room, we’re not millionaires Dermot”
15. “We trust you, we just don’t trust the builder”
16. “In terms of budget, how much extra would a Stira be?”
17. “Just very quickly, explain to me again what ‘open plan’ actually means?”
18. “Have you done something like this before?”
19. “I think there’s ROOM TO IMPROVE your understanding of our needs here, Dermot”
20. “You’ve gone off on a tangent here Dermot and completely ignored our brief. This is a disaster!”
——– TWO MONTHS LATER ———
21. “It’s beautiful and everything is exactly what we wanted. Thank you Dermot, you glorious man”
[Unedited images via YouTube]
