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24th Mar 2015

‘Why Am I F*cking Here?’ – Michelle Rodriquez Reveals Her Struggle To Deal With Paul Walker’s Death

Fast And Furious star Walker died in 2013.


Michelle Rodriguez has opened up about her pain at losing co-star Paul Walker, saying she “went crazy a little bit” following his death.

The actress will appear in the latest instalment of the series Fast And Furious 7 but revealed in a new interview that she struggled to cope with the loss of her friend Walker, who was tragically killed in a car accident in December 2013.

“I actually went on a bit of a binge. I went crazy a little bit… I went pretty crazy. A lot of the stuff I did last year I would never do had I been in my right mind,” she said.

“I was pushing myself to feel. I felt like nothing I could do could make me feel alive, so I just kept pushing myself harder and harder. I was travelling and I was having sex. And I was just trying to ignore everything that I was feeling.”

Rodriguez dated both model Cara Delevingne and actor Zac Efron following Walker’s death but says that she found herself struggling without an anchor in her life.

“I could see Paul once every two years and just know there was another human on the planet who’s deep like me, who loves like that. When that disappears, you wonder, ‘Wait a minute, what do I hold on to?’ There was nothing to tether me to this existence: ‘Why am I f—ing here? And, like, why’d you leave without me?’”

“I just woke up [one morning] with a profound respect for living. I stood tall one day and I said, ‘You know what, Michelle? Stop f—ing hiding. Go manifest.’ And all of a sudden, I picked myself up and started hustling.”