As a nation, we have a very strange reaction to hot weather. We give out all the live-long year that there is too much and that it is too cold, and then when that sun comes out, we have a lot of other things to worry and give out about. Here are fourteen things every Irish person thinks about when the sun comes out.
1. “Should I still bring a cardigan?”
Sure, it might be cold later. You never know here, it’ll be raining by lunch time.
2. “Is there anyone going to a beer garden?”
The cider demon is talking to me, I must make it to a beer garden like the one on the Bulmer’s ad.
3. “It’s fierce warm.”
Jesus, it’s only 10am and I’m about to pass out. We’re not able for this weather at all.
4. “I should really go the beach…”
We often go there as a test of endurance, it might be nice to go and just check out what people all around the world do on this magical place they call “the beach.”
5. “Can I call in sick into work?”
It’s too nice to be in work. I’m up since 6.30am. It’s only lovely out, why would I go and sit in an office? (If you work in a park, we’re really jealous)
6. “Let’s take our lessons outside.”
We’re not sure if you would get away with this now, but remember in the old days when the teacher said you could take your lessons outside and “examine” nature? Can we not do that now?
7. “Let’s have a BBQ!!!”
Do we have a BBQ? No? Let’s go down and get one of those ten euro ones in the shop, cook everything on the actual cooker and then put it on the BBQ to get the flavour.
8. “Too early for a swim?”
It’s April. It’s too early for a swim. The end. Unless you are a mermaid. Don’t go crying to your mother when you get a cold from that one.
9. “I MUST stay up for as long as it is bright outside…”
Your shift in work starts at 6am but there is no way you’re going to bed with that weather going on. I’ll have a nap in the back garden.
10. “I have NO summer clothes!!”
Trip to Penneys it is! Sure, I’ve no shorts.
11. “If my mother saw me in front of this TV, she would kill me.”
I’ll just go in and watch Game of Thrones for a while. I would never be allowed to do this when I was younger. If my mother caught me, she would throw me out.
12. “PUT YOUR TOP BACK ON!”
If you look like Ryan Gosling, it is entirely acceptable to take your top off. If you…. don’t, then, no!
13. “99!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
THE ICE-CREAM MAN! 99’s FOR EVERYONE! 99’s FOR DINNER!
14. “I… no, I haven’t shaved my legs.”
Ah, no shorts for me now anyway.
