LEAKED script from Zayn Malik’s new TV series has emerged and it’s very salty

What a time to be alive.

It’s been announced that everyone’s favourite fantasy boyfriend, Zayn Malik, is going to be the executive producer on a brand new television series. The programme is rumoured to follow the journey of an aspiring boyband, with Zayn stepping into the role of executive producer. He’s said to be helping out with the scripts and storylines, given his wealth of experience in the industry.

We’ve been anonymously sent a copy of the script, which leaked online earlier today. Although we cannot confirm whether the following script is real, we are choosing to believe it to be true.

[The boys are sitting on their tour bus after another sold out stadium show]

Gary: This is the life, isn’t it boys?

Lewis: Shut up Gary, you’re so annoying.

Liam: Hey, let’s stop bickering. Why don’t we play a game?

Neil: Aw class yeah I love games!

Zack: Ugh.

Gary: What game?

Liam: Well I’ve got Connect 4, Cluedo, Guess Who, Ludo…

Lewis: Let’s play Never Have I Ever?

Neil: Aw class yeah I love that game! Woo hoo!

Lewis: Great, I’ll start then. Never have I ever been in a boyband.

[All 5 boys take a sip of their drinks]

Lewis: Nice, nice. Gary, your turn…

Gary: Em, let me think. Never have I ever eaten a sandwich.

[All 5 boys take another sip of their drinks]

Liam: Boooooring! My turn. Never have I ever “been involved with” someone more than 15 years older than me.

[Gary reluctantly takes a sip]

Neil: MY TURN!

Gary: Hang on, not everyone has taken a drink yet.

[Gary intensely stares at Lewis]

Lewis: Shut up Harry Gary,  I told you that in confidence mate.

Gary: We should really play by the rules here, Lewis. Take a drink and we can move on.

[Lewis gingerly sips his drink]

Neil: Haha, this is class.

Zack: Ugh.

Liam: Hang on, I’m going to need some more details here…

Gary: Go on then Lewis, the boys are waiting.

Lewis: No. Stop. It was a long time ago, it doesn’t matter.

Gary: TELL THEM LEWIS OR YOU’RE OUT OF THE BAND.

Lewis: I was drunk. We both were. Things got out of hand and we both agreed to keep it a secret.

Liam: WHO?

Lewis: Fine. It was Dame Judi Dench.

Gary: Ahahahahahahahaha!

[The boys all pile on top of Lewis, tickling and teasing him. It is very sexy.]

Zack: Ugh.

Neil: Class.