“I Would Pray to God I Wouldn’t Wake up”: Actress Opens Up About Seven Year Battle with Depression

Actress Martine McCutcheon has opened up about a seven-year battle with depression following her bankruptcy.

Speaking to The Sun, McCutcheon described her devastation when her £25,000 engagement ring was seized by bailiffs and how she was in no position to get it back.

''I burst into tears. I was devastated,” she said. ''I just thought my health, money, career have all been taken away from me, and now even my engagement ring - the one thing that represents what is solid about my life - has gone. 

''I had given them everything I had so when the ring went as well it was heartbreaking. I just felt like nothing was going my way, and that even a symbol of something so personal as falling in love with somebody had been taken away from me too.''

Martine with husband Jack McManus

The 37-year-old shared how she would pray she wouldn't ''wake up'' while she was suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome.

''I would pray to God I wouldn't wake up. I would just say, 'Please, whatever this is, it is making me feel so bad, just let it kill me'” she said.

''I've had the worst seven years ever. It's just been one thing after another. I have not been in a nice place in my head, financially nor with my career.''

Over the years, the actress’ illness caused her to collapse 20 times and was confined to a wheelchair. 

''I'd started struggling with the schedules. I could sleep endlessly,” she revealed.

''Once a scene was cut I'd nod off in my trailer and producers would struggle to wake me.”

''I was worried people thought I had a drink or drug problem, but I didn't, I was just really unwell.''

McCutcheon declared herself bankrupt this January after owing £187,000 with £157,000 owed to the taxman and the rest to Lloyds Bank.