EXCLUSIVE: Here’s Why Justin Bieber Is No Longer Doing Meet And Greets

Justin Bieber has announced that he is cancelling all future meet and greets. He's said that they leave him exhausted and 'filled with so much of other people's spiritual energy'. Ugh, nothing worse! I believe that the real reason is because he's been forced to both meet and greet some particularly strange people recently. Having seen the following exclusive photographs and his (entirely fabricated) justification, perhaps you will sympathise with The Biebs.

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1. You-Know-Who "'He Who Must Not Be Named' was definitely a contributing factor of my cancelling the meet and greets. He was just pure evil and kept telling me he 'nose best', which I found weird because he doesn't even have a nose. I asked him how he smelled and he said 'fantastic'. Oh wait that's actually pretty funny!"   2. Kanye West's Twitter Feed "I'm amazed I'm still here to tell the tale after meeting Yeezy's Twitter feed. I mean, seriously, what is that garbage? He needs to be stopped."   3. Al From Toy Story "I put on a brave face in that photograph, but I was disgusted to meet this guy. What an appalling human being. He was just so greedy and disrespectful towards the toys in that movie. HE STOLE WOODY FOR GOD'S SAKE! He is scum."   4. Quinoa "This little jerk was awful. I can't even pronounce quinoa and I refuse to learn how. I was about to go on stage to a crowd of 45,000 people and this meet and greet left a really bitter taste in my mouth. What a bland and unnecessary individual."   5. A Dinosaur "Am I crazy? An actual dinosaur turned up to my meet and greet in Detroit. His arms were so short he couldn't even hug me properly. I felt bad but then quickly remembered that I am completely devoid of any consideration for other human beings."   6. The Morbegs! "This was the last straw for me. How am I expected to pose with these majestic creatures and still be considered a credible musician? I'm sick of it. I quit."

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Unedited images via YouTube.