We’re starting a new series here on Her.ie where we invite guest beauty bloggers to share their wisdom on our site.
So, let’s introduce our first guest beauty blogger – A DOG CALLED STIMPY!
Hi guys, Stimpy here!
Thanks so much to the girls at Her.ie for having me as their first official beauty blogger, I’m honoured and excited to share my beauty tips with you all.
I’ve put together a few little tricks that I picked up over the years, so I really hope they’re of use to you.
Mascara
Girls, if there’s one thing a dog needs, it’s voluptuous eyelashes. I’m forever fixing mine throughout the day. I recommend any brand you can get your paws on. As a dog, I am legally prohibited from using legal tender in exchange for goods and services, but that doesn’t stop me from being drop dead gorgeous! My main tip with mascara is that less is more. I’m not fond of the lower lashes having too much mascara on them. Simply put it on the top and blink thirty-five times immediately afterwards to spread it down.
Waxing
It’s the age-old question: wax or shave? I tend to go with waxing. I find it lasts longer and gives you a smoother finish. Obviously I have twice the amount of legs as most girls, so it’s a big job when I want to get waxed. I found a lovely place in town that charges per customer rather than per leg, which is always reassuring to know that there’s some equality in this cruel and unforgiving world. My main tip with waxing is to always get a Brazilian (person not treatment) because they are generally more experienced and sound.
Nails
As a dog, I have more nails than Jesus. So if I can maintain a perfect set of paws at all times, you’ve got no excuse! Saoirse Ronan plugged her nail place on Ellen, so I’m going to plug mine: MYSELF. That’s right gals, I do my own nails. All 20 of them, expertly, myself. My best tip is exactly that, do your best tip. That’s the first part people see first when you’re shaking hands, giving the paw or asking for a treat.
Teeth
One of my most important beauty tips is to smile. You can have all the contouring in the world but it won’t make much of a difference if you look like a miserable bitch (in the female dog sense). You should brush your teeth at least twice a day, or get one of those chewable bones that cleans them for you. They’re delicious, nutritious and will leave you with a smile like James Franco.
Inner Beauty
Finally, my essential beauty tip is to find a decent source of your inner beauty. Love yourself. Be yourself, no regrets. I am a dog, people are constantly telling me that I am gorgeous and adorable. You should say that to other humans as well.
